UPU !!!

this is it. the day of determination. i got approximately 26 minutes before upu result is opened am not gonna lie, im shaking right now.

im mostly scared that i didnt get into any uni. getting into uni that i dont want isnt much of a problem. but not getting anywhere freaked me out. i literally didnt apply anywhere other than upu, so i hope i get it. my result wasnt that bad, but wasnt that good either. i dont care about dream uni anymore, i just want a place. 

also, update on the scholarship im talking about. she didnt call yet. three weeks ago, exactly the day that i submitted my email in which she replied with "I will call you tomorrow", she hasnt call ever since. im starting to lose hope in this scholarship. what if it interferes with my schedule. what if i already start my class and thats when they want to call for interview? and what if i get the scholarship? wouldnt it be waste of money if i left the uni i already attended to and have to start over again. 

"i think i've seen this film before, and i didnt like the ending" playing in my head if the situation above really happens. back before i got offered a program to germany, i was on my journey to medic school. i was just to weeks of my foundation when jpa suddenly accepted my appeal. some money was lost, and i had to do medical checkup all over again. by the end of 2022, i already had 3 medical checkups and X-rays. that sounds dangerous. and the ending? i didnt go to germany

so it almost the same as what i said before. happy intro, bad ending. 

and another 12 minutes before result comes...